


Bellamy's breaking point

by unidentifiedblackthorn



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 01:50:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6496129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unidentifiedblackthorn/pseuds/unidentifiedblackthorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy goes to her workshop looking for a fight and ends up crying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bellamy's breaking point

He doesn't know why he used to go to her workshop. He likes to think that he did it because she needed help, even though she refuses to be helped. Or maybe he went because she was the only one who ever bothered to treat Gina like a person and not as if she was just another girl that trailed Bellamy around like a lost puppy. Or maybe he goes because she's almost a world apart from him. She only has to worry about fixing objects, while he has to fix alliances between monsters. 

It hasn't been three weeks since Gina's death, hasn't been a week since he, Pike and the farm station had murdered an army of grounders that had been sent there to help them. Hasn't been three weeks since he last saw Raven and went to her workshop. And yet it feels like it's been years; years since he's last seen Raven's familiar face and fiery eyes. Years since he had aided Pike into killing those grounders; it frustrates him that it feels like it was just yesterday Gina had been in that explosion that killed her. 

He raps two knuckles against the side of the wall where there's supposed to be a door but there isn't as he comes in. She's standing on the tips of her toes on her good leg and stretching her arm up, reaching blindly for something well above her short head. He stares at her while she obviously struggles to reach what's on top of the shelf. She doesn't turn around to look at him before saying, a little harshly might he add, "I'm fine, Abby. Please stop harassing me." She's trying to reach to what he thinks are three cables. It stings that she doesn't bother to turn around before assuming he's Abby; as though she didn't expect him to visit her anymore, even though he used to almost every night.  

He walks soundlessly to her as she turns around to look at him. He doesn't look at her reaction as he reaches easily to the three cables she was trying to get and places them on top of her dirty worktable. He couldn't resist looking and from the corner of his eye he can see her trying to figure out why he was here; he was trying to figure that out himself. 

Not liking the way she was looking at him, Bellamy says shrugging, "Maybe Abby would stop harassing you if you wouldn't lie about your leg."

He thinks he's looking for a fight and that's why he came here, knowing that Raven and him could probably argue for hours. He turns to look at her for the first time face to face since he came into the room to see that her pretty big brown eyes are narrowed into slits.

"Don't talk about my leg as if you know what's been going on around here. I hear you've been quite busy killing innocent grounders, don't let me and my leg interrupt you from your duties." She says, snarling the word "duties" while crossing her arms over her chest and popping out a hip, arching an eyebrow and looking between him and the three cables on the table as though it were the dirt beneath her feet. He didn't know about the three cables but he was sure he was worth less than the dirt under her nails.

Bellamy tightened his jaw; he didn't think that would hurt as much as it had. "At least I'm not doing drugs." Bellamy replied harshly, hoping it would sting.

If it stung or not Bellamy wouldn't know; Raven's face remained carefully blank as she scoffed. "I'd rather do drugs than murder innocent people that were here to protect us for a death that was clearly the Ice Nation's fault."

Bellamy's resolve was cracking. "Shut up-"

"Why are you here Bellamy?" Raven interrupted, her eyes now filled with their usual fire. "If you came here for a fight then go to some other place, I'm tired."

Bellamy managed to scoff harshly before snarling, "Yeah you must be tired with all the fucking exercise you've been doing huh?"

He wasn't expecting the punch that landed on the side of his jaw when he said that. He stumbled backwards and looked at her in surprise, his hand reaching to touch his now tender jaw. Her hand was clenched into a fist and was shaking as she stared at him in anger and...disgust.

"No, Bellamy. I'm fucking tired of you being an idiotic, dumb inhumane little fuck -" she said angrily and taking a step forward, shoved him backwards. "- who follows Pike around like a lost puppy because you lost someone important to you." Raven snarled and shoved him backwards again, seething. "Boo fucking hoo Bellamy you lost someone important to you. Well guess what Bellamy! I lost everything. I lost my family, I lost Finn, I lost my fucking leg and I'm still ten times stronger than you'll ever be." She spat and shoved him hard.

Bellamy struggled to find words but she continued. "You still have Octavia, Bellamy. And if you don't start getting your act together you'll lose her too, even I can see that. You have Kane; you have Monty, Miller – even me Bellamy. And I sure as hell know that Gina wouldn't want this for you, wouldn't want you to turn into this thing that murders innocent people! You've turned into this monster that you're not. The Bellamy that I know would never insult Gina's death and honor like you've done."

She was panting and looking at Bellamy with hard eyes by the time she was done and Bellamy's resolve shattered. "I - I don't know what to do Raven." he finally said quietly. "I -"

He heard her sigh, trying to calm herself down and move closer to him; he was staring intently at her boots and brace, refusing to meet her eyes. Once she was in front of him she grasped at the sides of his jacket tightly between her grease stained fingers. When she spoke, she spoke softly, as though all her energy had been drained during her rant. "We've all lost someone special to us and this isn't the way to deal with it. I understand if you want revenge Bellamy, god knows I understand. But murdering innocent people for the works of others is not a way to deal with it." She said, clenching and unclenching her hands on his jacket. His eyes lifted to hers and he stared at her as she talked to his chest, not meeting his eyes. "You're turning into something that's way worst than what you think the grounders to be. You need to get your head out of Pike's ass Bellamy."

He didn't know when his eyes starting watering, or when his arms had snaked across Raven's waist, or how he had suddenly ended up in Raven's arms, his tall form leaning against her small feminine one, making her legs wobble as she regained her balance at his sudden weight. All he knew was that he was crying; he was crying, broken sobs escaping his throat as he was held Raven in such a death grip he loosened his arms around her thinking he must be crushing her.

Raven's hands snaked to the back of his neck and were softly stroking the hair there; her chin resting on his cheek. His face was tucked away into her neck, knees bent slightly to get there as fresh new tears wetted her neck and collarbone. She didn't shush him, or tell him it was going be okay. She just hugged him tighter against her small form and whispered over his broken sobs, "I'm here. I'm here." And when he had tried to control his crying, telling himself that this was not the the way to resolve his problems, she whispered, "It's okay to cry, it's me. Stop bottling your feelings I'm here. It's okay to cry." And so he did. 

Shoulders shaking uncontrollably, his knees weakened and wobbled as they struggled to hold up his weight. She must've notice because she waddled a little to the right and sat on top a little bed she had for when she fell asleep while working. Bellamy remembers going to her workshop late at night when his shift ended to find Raven asleep on top her work table, head resting on it as though she were praying and her hands still clutching an object that looked like junk. Bellamy always carried her to her little bed before he left. 

She sat on the bed and Bellamy sank to his knees in front of her, not even able to meet her eyes; hugging her stomach as he buried her head into her thigh and cried. She grasped the sides of his face and brought it level with hers, leaving grease stains on his face. Bellamy kept his head down, tears falling from his eyes and onto her lap as his shoulders and hands shook with sobs.

\-----------------

Raven didn't see a leader when she looked at him, she saw a boy; a broken boy whose life had been only filled with disappointment, pain and fear. 

A boy that was forced into turning into a warrior so he could protect the people he cared for. A boy that was tired of being manipulated by other people in his moments of weakness.

\-----------------

Bellamy felt a soft pressure on his forehead and knew that she had kissed him there. And for some reason that made him cry harder, he didn't deserve to be treated with care. He was horrible human being, a monster. There was a heavy weight on his chest, as though he were being suffocated, it made Bellamy's hands clench around the fabric of her t-shirt.

"When have you ever been treated with care?" she asked, daring him to answer when someone had actually stopped and asked Bellamy if he was okay; Bellamy hadn't notice he had said it aloud.

Raven tugged on his hair slightly and pulled him forward; making him crawl and lay down next to her. Bellamy buried his face in the crook of Raven's neck and sobbed, broken sounds that he'd never thought would come out of his throat as one of his hands grasped Raven's shirt over her flat stomach, fisting it tightly in his shaking fingers. The other curling over his own chest as though he were a little boy hiding from his nightmares. He cried and cried, all his pent feelings finally reaching its breaking point and spilling like the tears staining Raven's already grease stained shirt on her shoulder, tears pouring out of his eyes in a never ending stream. 

He cried for what felt like hours before exhaustion crept up on him and he fell asleep to Raven running her fingers softly through his greasy hair, mumbling to him about how much work the rover had needed before she had fixed it. Telling him everything she did in the process, things and explanations that he didn't understand but didn't care because her voice was soothing. 

That night, he dreamed about ravens flying in the sky as he drove the rover, Octavia at his side on a horse as they left Arkadia. That night, he dreamed about ravens flooding the skies like darkness had claimed it as he looked at the passenger seat to see Raven sitting there, a smile on her face, her eyes glowing with mirth as she looked out the window excitedly at the ravens as they flew passed them, looking back at him at laughing about how she was flying with them in the sky even though when he looked down he could see her brace, a reminder that one of her legs didn't work. That night he wasn't plagued by his usual nightmares. That night he slept better than he had since he got to the ground; better than he had ever slept in his entire life, even if it was just a few hours. 

That night was the night he knew how much Raven really meant to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Send me prompts on tumblr at unidentifiedblackthorn


End file.
